Chapter 26: Letter To A Friend.

A few days later they had arrived in Chicago, after the show the band and crew had all gone out to sample the Chicago nightlife. America's second city had alot to offer.

Later on in the night Sandy dragged Ruby into a quieter place, a bar where they had live blues music playing.
'I'm just going to the bathroom' she said as Sandy headed to the bar.
During the night they had become separated with the others when they had gone to a dance club.

From across the room Ruby spied Jon talikng to a woman, a beautiful brunette.
'Hey there you are Jon!'
She walked up behind him, going to put her hand on his shoulder.
His back tensed up at the sound of her voice.
'Can't you see i'm busy? Just leave us a minute.' He near enough shouted at her.

Wounded. In a moment of de ja vu she turned on her heel and ran away from them. This time she didn't hold back the tears. She barely even looked in the direction she was going, she just needed out of there fast.
She ran straight into someone's shoulder.
'I'm sorry.' She stuttered between sobs.
'Hey...Hey. Darlin what's wrong? Come here.'
Richie curled his arms around her.
'Richie i...i just want to go home.'
'Come on i'll take you.'
'No i mean home home. Just anywhere away from him.'
Richie walked with his arms around her as she cried, the kind of tears where you can't find your breath.

He waved down a cab outside the bar and took Ruby back to the hotel.

***

'Are you going to tell me what's up now?' He said as he poured her a whiskey. He had taken her to his hotel suite.
'I can't drink this!' she said.
'It'll calm you down. And it'll lubricate your tongue so i can find out what's got you in this state.'
Reluctantly she sipped at the glass. Wincing with every taste, in the end she just downed it.
Richie nodded, quite impressed.
'It's Jon.'
Richie pulled up another barstool and sat himself down beside her.
'I mean we have....sort of, i don't know what it is. Seems like bugger all now.'
'Bugger all?'
'Nothing.'
'Right. Sorry girl but i'm really confused here.' Richie said pouring himself a whiskey.
'There has been something between us.'
Suddenly richie became aware, it was a case of Jon fucking it up with a girl again.
'Okay.'
'Well he's been a bit....whenever i have gone to kiss him public he's said stop it and just spoke to me as if i was a child. And then later come creeping back to me with some lame excuse.'
'And tonight?'
'And tonight i go up to him and say hey, he didn't even turn round. Shouted at me to leave him alone.' With that the tears started to flow again. 'I just feel like i'm being used. And i'm sick of it.'
'Come here.' Richie held her close as she sobbed into his chest, 'I don't know what to say, i know how Jon is. He can be a grade A prick sometimes.'
'I hate him....'
Richie hushed her as she cried against him.

A while later with the help of the whiskey she had cried herself to sleep.

***

Richie headed over to Jon's suite.
Banging on the door harder than was polite considering other guests.
The door swung open in seconds.
'Richie, fuck i thought it was going to be...'
'Yeah i know who you thought it was gonna be.'
'You do? Is she okay? Where is she?'
'In bed.'
'Your bed?'
'Fuck you, now is not the time for petty jealousy.'
Jon's shoulders sunk, he didn't really think that anything had happened.
'Sorry Rich.'
He wandered over to the fridge fetching coke for them both.
'You shouldn't be apologising to me Jon. That girl was breaking her heart over you all night.'
Jon looked at the ground. Fuck.
'I didn't mean to....but maybe it's for the best.'
'What? For the best? This has got to be some fucked up logic.'
'The woman i was with...Richie, it was Diane.'
'Diane? Shit.'
'Yeah it was a bit tense, i snapped. But i've been on thin ice with Shorty for a while.'
'Yeah she said you had been messing her around.'
'It's hard Rich. I want her...but i know i'm all wrong for her.' He sipped from his coke. 'She's too good for me man. She's young, her whole life ahead of her. And smart, she's really smart Richie, gonna be an architect some day. I've kept her away from her studies too long already, i don't want to ruin her life anymore. I need to end it once and for all'
'I'm not gonna give you any bullshit advice. You've got to do what you need to do Jon. But just whatever you decide for God's sake let her in on it this time.'
Richie got up to leave. 'And tell her now, don't keep her hanging.'
'Ok i will. But Rich, i need to ask a favour.'

--------------------

Richie had given him his room key, so the next morning Jon headed to his suite, running words over in his head.
'Shorty...' he started to call but he saw her sat at the table the second he opened the door.
'What do you want Jon?' Her eyes were reddened from crying.
He invited himself in and sat down.
'To explain some stuff.'
She was reading a newspaper, dressed in a baggy hoody and shorts.
'Like your inability to be a decent human being?'
'Okay i deserved that. But just hear me out yeah?'

'That woman you saw me with. Her name is Diane. She's an actress. We were together on and off for about 8 years. I haven't seen her for 2.'
Ruby didn't respond. Just looked at him waiting for more.
'It didn't end well last time and i didn't expect to see her, you caught me at a bad time and i'm sorry.'
'Okay. I think maybe i over reacted, i can see why...'
'Stop it.' Jon said holding his head in his hands.
She was shocked, what the hell?
'Why are you so nice to me? I don't deserve it.'
'I must be stupid then.'
'No you aren't. Don't ever say that.'

Silence. Neither of them knew what to say next...Ruby broke the ice.
'So where do we go from here?'
'I think maybe we should go back to being just friends. It could never work you know that right?'
She was knocked for six....Friends is not enough, she wanted to say to him.
Jon continued, 'You know i'm right. A relationship wouldn't work out between us. We're from two different worlds.'
'Cut the crap Jon. Just say it. You want to go back to this Diane.'
You couldn't be further from the truth if you tried, he thought. 'Yes Shorty. I do. We have history.'
'And we didn't have a chance.' She was calm, resolved.
'She's in the public eye you know? Like me. She understands....and it makes sense for me to be out there, premieres and...'
'Is that all love is to you? She'll help you sell more records?' A tear trailed down her face. 'Well if that's the case i feel sorry for you Jon.'
Damn it. Don't cry it's hard enough as it is, he thought. 'It's not like it was going to work out anyway, it was fun....'
'Right. Fun. I see where I stand. Don't worry now that the fun is over i will get out of your precious hair.' She replied, getting up to leave.

------------------

She didn't feel like it at all but she stayed for one more show. Indianapolis.
She wanted to say goodbye to the crew, especially Sandy.
For the first time she had her own hotel suite. She had barely seen Jon since their talk.

'I am gonna miss you kid.' Sandy said holding her tight.
'I'll miss you too. It's been great fun, thank you. Is it ok if i keep in touch?'
'You better do! And i'll see you when we're over there won't i?'
'I don't know...maybe. See i'll have my studies.' She lied. She didn't think she could stand to see Jon again.
'Well i'll come and drag you away from the books. Just look after yourself you hear?'
'I will.'

For the last song of the show Jon had added Never Say Goodbye, it was performed acoustically. The highlight of a lacklustre show.
Jon just felt low, he knew what he was doing was right for her in the long run, even though it killed him to do it.

But the token was in vain. Ruby wasn't there to hear it, she had snuck off before the show started.

----------------------

As she packed her suitcase there was a knocking on the hotel door.
She dropped the shirt she was folding and walked over to open the door.
'Jon.'
He was stood in the doorway, obviously hadn't changed since the show.
'Hey.' He smiled, she didn't reciprocate.
They stood for a second.
'Can i come in?' Jon asked.
'I'm actually busy packing....' She had hoped to be gone before the show ended, avoiding the goodbye.
'This won't take a minute.'
She sighed stepping aside. 'Okay but i have to pack while you talk.'
'That's fine. I just didn't want you to leave without saying goodbye.'
'What's the point Jon? After this i can't be just your friend. Let's just call it quits.'
'I'll miss you.'
'And i will miss you....I have missed you. For the past couple weeks....missed the person who i thought you were anyway.' She could feel the tears threatening.
Dammit i won't cry in front of him again.
She walked over to the bedside table pretending to look for something.
'You know i've always lived my life and said no regrets, life's too short. But things change i guess...' Jon said.
With that he turned and walked out of the room.

-------------------

She put her headphones on and rummaged in her hand luggage for her CDs. This was going to be a long flight, she needed to take her mind off things.
Pulling out the holder she noticed a jiffy envelope in her bag.
What the hell? Good job my bag wasn't searched.
There was nothing on the envelope, so she opened it up.
It had a cassette player inside, no note or anything.
She plugged her headphones into the player, not knowing what to expect, but curious all the same she hit play.

I'll be there to hold you by the hand
When you need someone to walk you home
You know that I'll be there to understand
When you call me on the phone

I'll be there to watch you when you sleep
When you close your eyes at night
And I'll be there to keep your secrets kept,
Cross my heart, hope to die
I swear each word is true
There's only one thing I wouldn't do

I'll be there when you need a real friend
I'll be there to listen to your schemes
I'll be there to give you all I've got
I'll be there when you paint your masterpiece
And I'll be right beside your every move
I'll give you my eyes so you can see
And I'll help you to find the things you've lost
When you're busting at the seams

I swear each word is true
There's only one thing I wouldn't do
I ain't gonna love you
I ain't gonna love you

Nobody wants you like I want you
Nobody needs you like I need you
You know I would beg and plead,
get down on my knees
do most anything, it's true
But I ain't gonna love you
I ain't gonna love you
'Cause I love you

I'll be there to love the things you love
I'll be the one who knows your middle name
Be the only one that you can trust
I'll give you the blood that's in my veins
I swear these words are true
There's only one thing I wouldn't do
I ain't gonna love you

'Cause nobody wants you like I want you
Nobody needs you like I need you
You know I would beg and please, get down on my knees
Do most anything for you
But I ain't gonna love you
I ain't gonna love you
Because I love you.
Because I love you.

She just sat in tears.
After the song finished she rewound it and played it again.